Christmas, Christmas you have come again you pretty one!

After 2011 this is my first Christmas back in Brazil. When I was there I was always thinking about this time, and all the Christmas food and the panettones (I even had an experience of trying to find them in Rotterdam, lol) the rice with raisins, farofa, the turkey, ham... But besides all the food, I was also thinking about the warmth, not only the weather, but the people who bring warmth, the type of heat when you feel when you are really close by ;-)

It was very nice to see everybody again for Christmas. The hugging, kissing, laughing, eating and drinking together. I could remember that during the Christmas dinner in my family we are used to have a moment when we share a word from the Bible and we pray. At this moment, we try not to give in to the hunger but we get other type of food. This may seem a bit hard for some, but I confess I am really happy about this tradition. This seems to be another type of main course served. It makes me so happy.

After so many years celebrating Christmas in a different way, a moment such as this one when we stop to listen and to pray, is a fantastic thing. It's almost rare to find nowadays, and I think it's such a pity. In Brazil is not that rare, we can see this happening sometimes or at least people would not find it weird to see it happening and they might enjoy and find it amusing, even when they don't share the exact type of faith. We tend to respect and listen and know when to speak and when to be silent.

What a pleasant Christmas night. I am really proud of my family, even with all our mistakes and faults. If we remain in God we will grow as a family and we will learn to improve and become better. Once we abuse of love, truth, honesty, simplicity we can improve our unity even more.

I say, hurrah to the family! And to all the nice Christmas in the world, where we all learn that family is not only the ones blood related, but also the people who really care and respect and love us and are willing to go on next to us, living our lives!

Cheers! Let all Christmas come! Beautiful ones!

Natal, Natal, já chegou de novo, seu lindo!

Depois de 2011, esse foi o meu primeiro Natal de volta ao Brasil. Quando estava lá pensava tanto nessa época, em todas as comidas típicas natalinas, nos panettones (tenho até uma experiência de tentar encontrar panettones italianos em Roterdã que foi loucura, rsrs), arroz com passas, farofa, pernil, chester e lombos... Mas além das comidas, pensava também naquele calor, não só o calor do clima de um país tropical, mas no calor humano, aquele que a gente sente muita falta quando não está perto  ;-)

Como foi bom rever todos, dar abraços, beijos, comer e rir juntos. Poder ver que no Natal em família aqui, não nos esquecemos de dedicar um momento em que nós ouvimos a palavra de Deus, em um versículo ou história, e oração. Nessas horas abdicamos da nossa fome para nos concentrarmos em algo espiritual, e às vezes esse sacrifício pode ser difícil para alguns, mas sinceramente, gosto muito dessa tradição.

Depois de tantos anos celebrando o Natal de outra maneira, um momento desses de parar, ler a Palavra e orar, é algo muito rico; é como se fosse um banquete especial, além dos pratos natalinos. No nosso país temos essa liberdade, graças a Deus. Mesmo existindo algumas divergências de crença, percebemos que há um respeito, e há liberdade de expressar a fé.

Estar de volta nesse Natal foi muito bom. A oportunidade de ter minha avó aqui, tias e tio, primos e familiares. E olha, estou muito orgulhosa da família que tenho, mesmo com todos os defeitos, que nós mesmos reconhecemos, se permanecemos em Deus, aprendemos a nos relacionar e crescer em família. Se abusarmos do amor, da verdade, sinceridade e simplicidade podemos sim melhorar ainda mais a nossa união e fazer ainda outros Natais maravilhosos.

Viva a família! E Deus é bom demais! Natal de volta, que venham muitos Natais, e lindos!!

Hmmmmmmm eu vou levar esse...

Alguns tempos atrás aconteceu algo engraçado comigo..
Estava em um café, e olhando no cardápio estava na dúvida se pedia um ou outro bolo...
Quando ía pedir pra garçonete, falei... "Hummm... eu acho que vou levar esse... E apontei pro bolo que queria...".

Pra minha surpresa, quando ela chegou com os pedidos, ela trouxe o da pessoa que estava me acompanhando e o meu... só que o meu, ela trouxe em um saco de papel... Pra levar... :D
Hahahahahahahahaha!

Naquele momento eu pensei gente... como pode isso?!! HAHAHAHAHA!
Eu disse quero levar, e ela realmente me ouviu.. O fato é que, em inglês quando escolhemos algo, podemos dizer "I will take this one", ou em Holandês  "ik neem deze...". kkkkkkk

Acabei de perceber que realmente preciso me integrar em muitas coisas ainda.. até pra fazer um pedido.. me senti uma gringa brasileira!
Me aguardem... ainda vou surpreender vocês, viu?! Tô tão mal assim não.. kkkkkk

Coffee... my dear coffee

Coffee! Coffee...

Many years ago I started drinking coffee without sugar and I realized that actually, I didn't like coffee until then. Now, I just love it! Honestly, it tastes much better because you can smell just the coffee and taste the real thing... Hmmmmmm! I love it!

In Holland the senseo machine is very famous, but I don't really like it. It was always too weak for my taste. I prefer it the old fashioned way; if I am at home I will be just boiling water and using a filter, although some coffee machines like dulce gusto or nespresso also make decent coffee.

Yes, I do enjoy coffee the old fashioned way... Just like my great grandmother, my granny and my mom. The best!

In Brasília, you can also find delicious coffee at some nice cafe's, for instance, at Ernesto Cafe. They have several types of coffee and many are deliciously prepared with different toppings and blends. I became a fan, and have been going there sometimes. Let me give a short review: the place is cozy, nicely decorated, they provide good service and the coffee is fabulous!

They offer a special: "Ernesto café", made of a mix with vanilla ice cream, hazelnut liqueur and a board with nutella and grinded cashew nuts. It's irresistible! Sometimes I go there and try something new but many times I just prefer to go for it, again and again... It's addicting.

So, if you are ever in the neighborhood and are also quite a fan of coffee like myself, just go there and I am sure you will love it.

They provide also some nice cakes, muffins and other snacks and they are all served with good quality.

If there would be light on the little dark side of us?

Recently I was thinking about how people like to post and publish on social media the most wonderful things in their lives. I won't be a hypocrite; I do the same. I post mostly the nicest pictures of myself, the best places I have been and the best food I enjoyed and it may give people an idea that everything always goes well and everything is so perfect and we all know that isn't exactly true.

Nobody wants others to see the worst of themselves and we try to impress people with our best. As we sometimes feel that we won't be accepted or won't be admired when we feel bad or show them the other side of us.. the dark side.

For instance, I have pictures of me overweight which from time to time I hated to see.. hahahaha! And then I thought, well, that was me, right? I just had a bigger layer of fat which now it's a bit gone.. (I still want to lose some more, of course!) and it just hit me: that is just fat. That person was still me. I am that person and why doesn't she deserve to feel good and loved even with that extra fat?

Funny how we like to impress others with the best things. But it's just natural to want to be loved and feel we belong. Even the most dangerous criminals still want to be loved and seek someone's approval. It's a natural behavior. But why aren't we also happy about ourselves when we are down or not looking our best? Sometimes I wonder, if we don't like ourselves in that way, do we need to accomplish something to feel better? Do we need someone else telling us that we are accepted so that we will finally believe? Of course we all go through things and we all need to improve some area of our lives or else it will be impossible to live in society. As we are not perfect... Some of us may find difficult to look at the mirror and see the imperfections and we hear sometimes: "you can change what needs to be changed, but what we can't change, we need to learn how to accept it and live with it". But how do we know the difference between what needs to be changed and what we have to accept? I guess that is the challenge.

If we find difficult to get to know ourselves and see who we are and what we want... wow... imagine two lives merged together?! Doesn't that sound like a recipe for disaster?  hahaha.. Think with me: If I don't know exactly what I want, I mean, if sometimes I think this is right and later I think, not it's not right, so I don't know exactly what I want. It's not carved in stone, right? So, if we don't know, imagine walking along with someone else who also doesn't know? I think that if people are around us and willing to take steps and move towards a goal, a plan, a dream, a common destination, I guess the hard edges will have to be smoothed and untrimmed branches will have to be cut out eventually so that this road will be walked and this dream may be lived. However trimming sounds like a lot of work and smoothing edges?! That kind of hurts... doesn't it?

Once you find out who you are and learn to accept and live with your imperfections and have the humility to change what needs to be changed, I think that this may be a good start towards a life of joy and fulfillment. Then, at that moment you look at yourself and know the dark side, you will feel ok to know that you are going somewhere. You remember the old days and since the moment you realized that you have learned something, this gives you joy, because you are ok with what is in the past and now you are free to enjoy today, even when it may seem still dark now, you know that this will also pass, and you will get to another point. But first, it's nice to enjoy the exact moment of right now, because when the now is here, soon it will be yesterday and you can't see it anymore because another moment will come.

Alright, this was a bit too deep now, and I feel like I drank a whole bottle of wine, however, it was just green tea... hahahaha! I am going to get a new fresh cup of tea now... (deep conversation, very deep...)

Wrong way

I have been going for walks recently around the neighborhood where my parents live and it's a nice way to burn calories and enjoy the weather, which by the way, seems to be always perfect here in Brasília.

As we don't have a specific pedestrian path, there is only a bike path built and obviously no other alternative to walk except on a bike path...

I found out that some ciclists can get very annoyed when we meet along the way. It's almost like you are in their way and they can't seem to make any effort to go around us when we walk there. Some pass so near you that you can feel the wind almost slapping you...

I walk on the way contrary to them, as I learned in Holland, that was the correct way. Since you see the bike coming in your direction and can make eye contact with the biker and notice if he or she sees you or not and in case they won't see you (hope never happens!!) you can step aside and move quickly to avoid any accidents. (At least, that's what we expect people to think and know).

Well, this week, we were walking there, and suddenly comes this guy on a bike coming down hill, very fast, looking very annoyed and very angry and stopped almost in front of my feet with his bike and shouted very loudly: "that way!!" and pointed to the other side.

My mother and I were so shocked and I could just reply: "Wow, you were not going to stop? Aren't we in a society?". And he just continued angry and very fast going down hill with his powerful bike and his good manners.

From that moment on I thought, wow... what kind of society we live in?! How can a man do that to people who are just walking on a path, which by the way, was always a walking path before it became a bike path and regulations are that when there are only bike paths we obviously have no choice but to walk on it. So, what kind of a person does that? Just scarying us and shouting at us because we were on a different direction than what he thinks is right? Wouldn't he need to move aside when we were walking on the other side anyway? What difference does it make for him? Except that we would even try to move aside when we see him, walking nearer the other line not to bother him and he would have to move completly if he was coming from our back as we don't have eyes on our back?


After this event, we were impressed with the level of politeness and courtesy of people on bike paths around. And this is an area where people are supposedly more educated, wow! Can you imagine?! I always thought bikers were people with more feeling for nature, and respect for others, since they know a bit about disrespect and being in disadvantage when they are competing with cars! I mean, if a car would come as near as he did to us, would he have enjoyed it?

I am just disappointed with such level of ignorance and lack of respect for others. Unbelievable! Well, I really hope that next time he would say something less aggressive I would for sure like to spend my few minutes explaining to him why it's safer to walk on that direction and what he suggested is not appropriate in case of pedestrians x bikes. It does make sense with bikes and cars, since the consequences of an accident would be much worse otherwise. But this is not the case.

Now I wonder, what else is there in society? Someone does that to people walking on a path, it's just a path; if we would be on the other side he would have to move aside anyway... I wonder, is this attitude acceptable? Is this the correct way to behave? I have a very clear opinion on what is really the wrong way...

Getting there...

It’s been almost 2,5 months since I left Holland. I still remember saying goodbye to my dear ones, packing and enjoying everything there until the last moment my feet were in Dutch ground. The memories of my life there are still so fresh in my mind… Sometimes I close my eyes and I can see the city (Rotterdam) all lighted up, the buildings and the cars passing by… I can imagine myself driving over the Erasmusbrug at night and I could see the buildings on both sides of the water… So beautiful…  

I remember going out with friends at night, we would not know exactly where we would go, but for sure we would have some fun together. Sometimes, just having some deep conversations with total strangers... I remember having these conversations with a few people whom I honestly will never forget and I have absolutely no idea who they were and what their names were. But at that moment, it felt like that moment was ours.

Sometimes I remember even the smell of the streets, the supermarkets and the fresh bread on the bakeries. Going early to the bakery on a Saturday morning to get some croissants and seeing people early on the streets, mainly older people and married couples with kids, all doing their weekly groceries. Walking outside on a Sunday, seeing ducks and typical birds… The smell of softener on clean clothes outside of some apartments... Wow… I could go on here for quite a while, because my memories are still so alive!

What is wrong with us, people? Here I am back to my home country and I am still thinking about the place I just decided to leave behind… What is wrong with me?  When we have something next to us we don’t value it as much… Or we simply forget to see the good things on it and just focus on the bad things… What is this? Am I being ungrateful? I just hate that Holland is so far away… I just hate it… I don’t like to use this word much, but there are a few things in the world that deserve it and well, here is one example.  Well, oke… Now things have changed and there is a new reality.

It has been really busy since I arrived. I have been visiting family and friends and enjoying everything I missed for the last period I spent away. Of course it is very different to live here than all the last times I came to visit. In all those vacations, I could only experience it as vacation and all I was doing was having fun, visiting people, eating a lot of food I missed and it has always being great because I would not have a routine, I was on vacation, obviously. So after the vacation days were over, I would come back to Holland with a suitcase full of energy and strength to get back on the routine back home.

Now the reality is something else. I still spend some time relaxing; I still enjoy food and the company of friends and family. However, in my mind, I know things will change again. I knew from the moment I decided to pack my bags that I was going to be back and I needed to accept whatever reality that would come my way, because that’s what we do when we make choices. We take risks and we jump into a new plan, we choose to take a new path.

It does sound quite scary to say that. I consider myself a bit conservative and I don’t like changes that much. But I see a positive side of myself in all this. Some people may not understand, others would even ask me why I waited so long to do it. I think now I know why. Deep inside of me I knew for some time already that there was something that made me do it. That was the top of the iceberg… Well, who am I to say what I know is absolutely right? How will I know where I will be in 10 years, heck, how will I know where I will be tomorrow?! Of course we don’t have control over certain things, and sometimes we don’t know exactly what makes us truly happy. We don’t know everything. We think we know, but we don’t. So we take a step and we do things sometimes hoping they will be the best for us. We can try with all our hearts to do something, but if that is not in our power and it does not depend on us do it, well, than this is the sign that we need to make a change, as it does not depend on your effort.

As I have my faith, I feel much relieved to trust in someone who has much more knowledge about me as a person than I do myself. Apologies if you don’t share the same view, but this is the only single constant in my life who will never change, and that is He; Everlasting, all knowing, mysterious, high, really high and yet so deep, able to touch us with the gentleness of a butterfly while being powerful to break any stone, yes, Him.

Aside from my faith, I do realize that moving back is a big step. Rationally speaking, this was a life change. Although I am used to living in NL, my second beloved county for almost 8 years, I believe I can get used here again as well. It just takes time. Time can heal; time can smooth things a bit. I need to accept that things won’t be the same and or, they won’t be similar to the ones I had before. Sometimes, in our lives, big changes take time to make us feel right again; to feel like home; to feel we can trust. We just need to continue to look ahead and slowly but surely make sure we are getting there… But, where exactly? I am not sure yet… Well, recently I found stroopwaffels in Pão de Açúcar, a Brazilian supermarket… haha!!!!! Ok… ok… I confess: some things I would never be able to give up on or leave behind… never!

Onde é isso?

Estávamos hoje fazendo uma caminhadinha que fazia tempo que precisávamos!

 

Andando e batendo papo, no meio do caminho uma mulher parou o carro pra pedir informações. Na maneira de perguntar dela, deu pra notar um tom meio impaciente. Nós pensamos um pouco antes de responder até que ela deu mais uma informação que facilitou pra nós tentarmos ajudá-la. Insatisfeita com a nossa incerteza, ela soltou: "Nossa, o povo que mora aqui nem sabe onde são as coisas né? Eu perguntei pro outro homem e ele disse que era por aqui".
Um pouco surpresa com sua reação respondi: "Olha, estou tentando te ajudar. Estou te dizendo que é pra lá" (apontei pra direção que achava ser a certa) e continuei:  "com esse ponto de referência não tem dúvida que é mais à frente, do outro lado. Se quiser ouvir o que o outro homem lhe disse ouça, estamos tentando te ajudar."
Achamos engraçado que pela falta de paciência, ela não soube nem perguntar e não queria aceitar nosso sábio conselho...(Rsrsrs)

 

Foi engraçado meditar sobre aquilo. Uma pessoa impaciente, interrompendo a  nossa caminhada, e nós com toda a boa intenção de ajudá-la, e ela não quis aceitar e ficou insatisfeita. No final, ela agradeceu, mas mesmo que talvez da boca pra fora, fizemos a nossa parte. Ela quis reclamar da nossa falta de informação e não aceitou a nossa ajuda, mesmo que fosse pouca.
Apesar disso, sabemos que tentamos ajudar da maneira que pudemos.

Nos fizemos a nossa boa ação do dia. Haha :-) agora, fiquei até curiosa onde e o endereço mencionado por ela. Seria uma loja? A casa de alguém? Talvez um SPA? Um local pra relaxar um pouco? Talvez... ;-)

As primeiras segundas impressões

Como é bom voltar à sua terra natal!
É difícil explicar exatamente a sensação de estar aqui de volta e também poder rever pessoas amigas e entes queridos. Logo nos primeiros dias, pude fazer as primeiras observações deste lindo cenário.

Confesso que senti e ainda estou sentindo um quasi choque cultural de retorno em alguns pontos que havia me esquecido... rsrsrs. Mas isso faz parte mesmo em qualquer lugar do mundo. Não existe país perfeito, tem muita coisa aqui que é maravilhosa e tem muita coisa que é ruim. Na Holanda é assim também, para quem não acredita, e é muito interessante observar alguns desses pontos no Brasil...

Por exemplo, a maneira que as pessoas são bem-humoradas no Brasil. Ainda dentro do aeroporto de Brasília, na fila da alfândega, estava ouvindo a conversa de dois homens na minha frente. Um dos senhores estava com uma maleta o outro começou a fazer comentários sobre ele dizendo: "O que você tem aí nessa maleta secreta?", "Olha, que essa maleta você está carregando o tempo inteiro do seu lado, tem algo muito precioso aí e você tá escondendo alguma coisa", e os dois riam daquela brincadeira entre amigos. Eles olhavam ao redor e riam também, pois sabiam que as pessoas estavam achando aquela situação engraçada pelo fato de passarmos pela polícia federal.

Um outro exemplo é a nossa língua portuguesa. Como é bom poder falar português e são tantos os termos que são engraçados; é notável a presença do bom humor até nas coisas mais simples. Alguém já ouviu falar no polvilho "MATUTO"? Rsrs. A palavra diz tudo e garante que esse polvilho deve ser da melhor qualidade, não é mesmo?! E quanto ao lava-jato "ESPONJA DE OURO" ? Será que alguém duvida que seu carro não sairá brilhando de lá?

Até mesmo no linguajar do dia a dia, claro que não estou nem levando em consideração o tamanho do nosso país, e nem todas as possíveis expressões e regionalismos que existem aí pelo nosso Brasil afora. Eu estou longe de saber e poder conhecer todas elas, então fico aqui na minha região influenciada por várias outras, mas que esse humor e jeito de falar me toca, ah isso sim. Estava eu com minha mãe na hora do lanche em casa, e lembrei de uma frase que saiu: "não vou tomar esse chá tão quente não, tomar essas coisas queimando guela, ninguém merece."

Até comentamos se um estrangeiro estivesse estudado o português ele não entenderia realmente muita coisa, mas pode ter certeza que ele iria sorrir quando ouvisse e entendesse o sentido daquela palavra naquele momento. Por isso digo que, as minhas primeiras segundas impressões aqui foram cômicas, e claro, apesar da situação atual estar meio crítica em relação a problemas econômicos e sociais, e quando ligamos a televisão só se ouve falar de bandidos, acidentes, mortes, tem muitas outras coisas muito bonitas e às vezes até despercebidas entre as linhas do dia a dia, no sorriso de um estranho, ouvindo a conversa de pessoas amigas, e por aí vai.

Back to the future...

After almost 8 years living in the Netherlands I am back to Brasília!!
Wow... yes, wow!!! What a big change, what a big move!! Is this good? Is this bad? Why it's nice and why it's sad?

Many thoughts cross my mind right now and there are also many mixed feelings of being happy and sad at the same time. I didn't know it could be possible, but yes, it is. Happy for encountering again all the loved ones I was so far away from for such a long time... Sad because I left behind an incredible bunch of people whom I learned to love and respect...

In the middle of the rush of all the practical stuff that needs to be arranged when you move, telephones, contracts to be cancelled, my belongings and personal things to be given away or taken with me, still the most important thing was there right me with me: my inner peace. Still, some of the questions tried to challenge this very peace like:  And now? What if..?

They say "home is where your heart is".. Where is my heart now? This is a question I suppose will always be there around us no matter where we go.. I realized that sometimes there is no explanation for certain things. In fact, I can only feel much grateful and completly dependent on who is above me, God, who is above any human knowlegde and explanation. Apologies if you don't share the same vision, but He is the one single constant who kept me moving.

Living abroad has brought me valuable lessons.. How can you rely on yourself sometimes and how dependent you can be? We meet so many different people from all different cultures and everybody has something to offer.

This amazing experience I won't forget and I would do it again, all over again. It brought me here, it helped me until here, it made me see and realize many things about myself, it gave me an opportunity to spend time with myself and with many people whom I believe were selected to be around me for many purposes... Wow... I even now can't have so many words to say about this experience and still, until now, I am under the impression as where I am now, it doesn't feel the same, because no, it's not the same. It changed... I changed.. And It feels really good. But, it also feels bad... I miss being there, I miss the there part, and the people... I am sure I will miss it even more later, as this is only the beginning... but wow... I am still under the impression that this is just the beginning.
This is the beginning of the future, and then? What then? And now?... Once He told me, it's better the end of things than the beginning... WOW! I am very curious now... I missed my town and I will miss my second home... Can we have both? This is back.. to the future, I suppose
;-)